UNSPEAKABLE TIDINGS

(note: Aarni mostly uses the Discordian calendar.)

55/ 03/ 3174	1) The new remotely deathmetallish Aarni song 'Rat King' (and its lyrics) has been finally made available online at our ReverbNation site! Free, streamable, downloadable and shit. In case of perplexion as to the subject of said song on your part, maybe a net search on its title will help. Or go ask an adult. Features references to rodents, Enochian magick, beer bellies, Reneissance history, feces and other philosophical subjects. 'Rat King' and a few other new songs we currently work & play on represent a welcome distraction from making the previously ranted-about Lovecraftian album. In fact Aarni might do a CDR release featuring this new material plus our tracks from the Skepticism, Thergothon and other more or less hard-to-get cover/tribute albums. The CDR price would naturally be shamefully low with a total playing time between 60-80 minutes. Each copy would also feature different original & unique liner remarks and divers rants by one of the band members. In other words no two copies would be alike. So this release would actually be a proper Aarni album. Pity about the apparent lack of a cover booklet, unless some of you should donate us funds for printing it. The upside: cheap price and the song lyrics & artwork can always be put online instead. Well, more about this rot when we happen to channel it... 2) For whom it might concern, we recently created a Facebook page for Aarni. Joining it might mean no dishonour to you, but could expose you to the Illuminati of course. Will the main rants & cackles outlet still remain at Last.Fm? I guess it'll be up to you. 3) Forgot what the third news item was. Maybe something vital, maybe something merely important. Repeat to yourself: "it was probably nothing".
23/ 03/ 3174	Currently we aka Yours Truly and genius Albert Frankenstein busy ourselves with making the Aarni t-shirt designs. The rags should be available in late Summer if Eris wills. More info on this once we channel it. Aarni has run out of their Tohcoth copies so interested parties should go get them from Epidemie Records and its distributors instead. Incidentally I heard that both they and Firebox still have enough Bathos copies in stock to satisfy the huge global demand - and lots more. Patients who have recently requested copies of Tohcoth from us will get theirs, of course. The vocals for 'Nemesis' have been recorded and they seem to have turned out rather nice. I also contributed some guitar soloing scatness to the forthcoming Umbra Nihil piece of sh...inola. As we speak Aarni works on a death/t(h)rash metal song called 'Rat King' (go look this somewhat cryptozoological term up) as a sort of holiday from all the serious Lovecraftian stuff. Once finished, the song will be made available for free (duh!) downloading on our ReverbNation site.
54/ 02/ 3174	Many of you patients have been requesting some rags to cover up your loathsome nakedness and now we can help you: respectable Aarni t-shirts will probably be available in the more or less distant future. More info as soon as we get it... I don't recall if I stated this before, but 'Tohcoth' too is interactive yet after another manner than 'Bathos'. The interactive portion of the record consists of magickal sigils in the booklet: the listener/operator is kindly asked to concentrate on each one in turn, charging and launching them in a state of gnosis as per the popular practice in Chaos Magic. To you that's ogling at the artsy red-coloured scribbles in the booklet page corners and wanking, bub. Many wondrous and blissful things will happen to you and your planet if you choose to comply! Help yourself to help us help you. Yes, this is no joke. I somewhat painstakingly made those sigils in the Tohcoth booklet just for you to launch. I hope this is a good excuse for you to have sex or some other activity leading to the required 'moment of emptiness'. Speaking of which, we've still got a few copies of 'Tohcoth' left and feel anxious to be rid of them. Contact us for pity's sake and get a nice gift for someone special. Your favourite lover and/or enemy perhaps? Remember too that Mother's Day draws close... Aarni now has a spanking new ReverbNation page. We suggest you visit it as the site clearly beats the likes of My$pace in many wonderful ways. Featured are numerous full-length songs from all Aarni releases, plus "fan exclusive" stuff such as unreleased tracks and other curiosities. In about a week two further early songs ('In The Mouth Of Oulu' and 'Kakkakepponen') will after remastering hopefully be added there, as in time will be such new tracks as don't fit the Lovecraftian concept of the forthcoming 3rd Aarni album, but are too good to be thrown away...I kid, Aarni never throws anything away - we are ecological in that way. At the moment ReverbNation has a total of 11 Aarni songs, including the fan exclusives 'Ethanol Jam' and 'Logos (piano edit)'. "Becoming" a fan shouldn't be too painful as it is gratis. And while you're at it you might want to consider joining the Aarni mailing list feature there. It seems more fancy than these plain text Liber Aarnis. Maybe it will in time replace the old Bravenet newsletter service that we currently use...let's see if enough people wish to join it and unsubscribe from the Bravenet one. Yea, naturally the recordings of the 3rd album are underway and likely will be for quite some time. The song 'Yule Horror' has been practically completed and now only awaits for the finishing guest star contributions. Additionally, the vocal recordings for 'Nemesis' should be completed later this week as well as some of my guitar solos for the forthcoming Umbra Nihil album. Let's shoggoth! MW
19/ 02/ 3174	Thanks to everyone who has ordered ’Tohcoth’ from us! Azathoth knows we need all the support we can get...still a few copies left so please get yours if you feel naked and thus eliminate the evil industry middlemen. Also, the Aarni website has already some time ago been updated with English translations for ’Tohcoth’ lyrics as well as some other things to help those people whose skill in Enochian, Latin and/or Finnish are shaky. And two ’Tohcoth’ reviews (in Finnish) added with more to come. If you feel you have something Aarni-related to say and want to do it publicly, join Aarni’s Last.fm group for some discussion. Also Doomintroll appears there from time to time making inappropriate remarks. Someone seems to have posted a mutilated "music video" version of ’Thunder, The Perfect Mindfuck’ on YouTube. A nice gesture I guess, but the last image in it hasn’t anything to do with the band...rather it’s a picture of someone named ’Aarni’, which is a somewhat uncommon male first name in Finland. Of course many people have changed their names to Aarni after our huge success, but still, if you do an image search with our moniker not all of the results have much to do with the band. In any case, it seems like a fittingly bathetic ending to the "video". Currently I busy myself with lead guitar recordings for Umbra Nihil’s forthcoming album and with new Aarni material. Might as well come clean now and reveal that our third album looks like to be a purely Lovecraftian one. In other words a theme album paying homage to his genius in a hopefully tasteful way and without any undue goofing around. I have in mind a serious & "honest" musical release which promises to challenge my songwriting/playing skills to their limits. And not just mine but also of those more or less known international underground musicians partaking in it. Yes, this time around the number of guest stars will be higher than on previous Aarni stuff. We hope to make an album which also appeals to many fellow fans of Lovecraft’s work. Featured will naturally be his cosmic horror themes as well as the more serene Dreamlands/fantasy tales. The tracks on that album will be musical impressions from various HPL stories/poems or key aspects thereof, not an ordered narrative in the sense of eg. King Diamond albums. I hope to be able to convey musically something of the atmosphere/ambience I get from reading Lovecraft and, err, strike a chord with the like-minded listener as well.
58/ 01/ 3174	Today we received our candylike copies of the splendid album Tohcoth! But it's not right that we should have all the copies, so place your order and become the proud owner of one (or several). Never mind what jealous people say! The price including shipping worldwide is 13 euros, payment via PayPal or the usual traditional options. Speaking of which, let's take a look at an objective and scientifically impartial (an oxymoron?) description of Tohcoth written by a respected international expert: "Tohcoth is Aarni's second full-length album and contains a plethora of musical styles ranging from various subgenres of doom metal, 70's prog and folk metal to ambient and krautrock while remaining guitar-driven. A number of chord progressions and melodies have been chosen so as to cause beneficial effects in the listener according to the principles of sacred geometry. The record's overall atmosphere is somewhat proggy, experimental, freaked-out and heavily influenced by esoterica. The themes on 'Tohcoth' consist of occultism and futuristic theories, brain-change and collective & personal liberation with added Lovecraftian, Alchemical, Discordian, Thelemic and Hermetic content. The album features the first ever(?) recording of 'The Battle Hymn of the Eristocracy', the Discordian anthem from the cult book 'Principia Discordia'. Also featured is the Enochian (of course strictly using Dr. John Dee's original pronounciation instructions) language funeral doomy song 'All Along The Watchtowers', which may have interesting effects on the listener's surroundings and/or psyche. A couple of further tracks feature lovely poetry by Aleister Crowley and Eino Leino while the album itself has been dedicated to the late great Robert Anton Wilson, inter alia. The interactive portion of the record consists of magickal sigils in the coolly illustrated CD booklet: the listener/operator is kindly asked to concentrate on each one in turn, charging and launching them in a state of gnosis as per the popular practice in Chaos Magic. To you that's ogling at the artsy red-coloured scribbles in the booklet page corners and wanking, bub. Many wondrous and blissful things will happen to you and your planet if you choose to comply! Languages used on the recording this time around include English, Latin, Finnish and Enochian. As on Aarni's critically and popularily acclaimed debut album 'Bathos', the Finnish media personality Sampo Marjomaa has contributed guest vocals and VV from the band Umbra Nihil plays quite a bit of the drums. The tracks number 11 in total making the album just over 73 minutes long." Do you believe that? We in Aarni do mostly. Mostly. Well, only boring news left: we have sold out our copies of the Skepticism Tribute so go pester someone else. And playful work has already begun on the followup(s) to Tohcoth. This time it looks like a theme album - for once - is emerging.
28/ 01/ 3174	Illuminating new year 3174, patients! This year marks the 10th anniversary of Aarni, in its current form at least. Aarni itself has of course always existed and will exist, because it has arrived here from outside existence itself. This feels hard to express verbally and to comprehend...try to remember. Anyway, I indeed initiated the current Aarni back in 1998 ev (as the less retarded among you possibly already surmised), but didn't bother with releasing any music until 2001 ev. Nostalgia ain't like it used to be... Epidemie Records has recently sent an unicorn dolphin elder to us, which stated in no certain terms that the release date of Tohcoth has been set to February 2008 ev, that is if everything goes according to the secret evil master plan. Finally cometh the anticlimax to everyone's long wait! If you want, I guess you can send preorders to us and/or Epidemie Records. Preferably to Aarni, because that way everyone wins...as for the price of the nevergreen musical recording, we think 13 eurobucks should suffice - including postage and shit planetwide. After all we don't need very much money anymore as all the Aarni members have reached the grade of Knight Of The Outer Void in Antimasonry and we have taken a vow of mental and physical poverty. Cheap at twice the price and in any case music stores (if they still exist) will probably charge you lots more... Count Saint-German says that Nostradamus said that in the near future a couple of full Tohcoth tracks will be posted by us on MySpace and/or Last.fm. We don't want to change the future so we probably will. Yea, Aarni appears "officially" now on Last.fm too. Those of you who can read and/or write can also join the Aarni discussion group there for some charming and balanced pleasantries. Doomintroll banters there every now and then, repressing nothing and oppressing everything. It has likewise been written that curious factoids regarding Tohcoth have been revealed on the Works page here at the Aarni webshite. Nostradamus was King Kong but after another manner. In our wickedness we have also remastered (in a final way) the Aarni/Umbra Nihil split CDR, so it is available from us too...improved new sound and washes cleaner too, while two out of three housewives report their cats prefer it. Comes of course with the original very professional CD covers and the rest of the TP. All that can be yours for an outrageous 6 eurobucks! You can help us be rid of them...they keep us awake at night by speaking of unclean things. It has recently come to pass that I personally contributed a guitar solo to Umbra Nihil's (aka Urban Hill) Thergothon cover song. In the near future I shall probably offer better ones for UN's upcoming album. Meanwhile, we continue our work of inventing musical cures for nonexistent diseases and three future Aarni albums have already been planned...now we try to decide in what order we want to release them. OTO or IOT or...Disordo Templi Lemminkaenensis? We will put out the next spam newsletter issue once Tohcoth actually gets released, just so you'll know. -M.·.W.·.
News Items from some previous years