Fan interview (Jun 2006)

1. Dear Master, I've been told by a very intelligent unicorn that you firmly believe in disharmony as a form of beauty. Would it be possible for you to record something resembling the Ainulindalë?
The Goddess Prevails (May Her Hooves Never Be Shod) -Merino Gómez

MW: While I prefer a female unicorn deity to a gaseous alpha male vertebrate of cosmic heft anytime, I'd rather choose no deity or deities at all. I think it's high time we stopped worshiping gods and started to aim at becoming gods. But your unicorn indeed seems to have accurate information regarding Aarni...I promise to use disharmony to arrive at harmony. Both sound beautiful to me, I sense no difference.

2. Could a robot (or some nonhuman system) reproduce the creative and/or esoterical processes that have lead to the releases of the Aarni albums? Why (not)? -Bastiaan

MW: Dear Bastiaan, I think this has already happened, as all we humans by our very nature are biorobots functioning on mechanical and chemical reflexes. As for some nonhuman system, I believe it could do a better job at creativity than Aarni, because by definition it wouldn't be a descendant of the apes. Give me an insect philosopher from the not-too-distant future of the Earth anytime. Mammals currently seem bad at doing non-mammalian things, although this can and will change with time. We in Aarni constantly aim at transcending primate bioscripts and that's why we make music so slowly - music is often neglected when seeking to improve ourselves.

3. Mozart, Puccini or Wagner? E.A. Poe, C.A. Smith or Milton? Kantele, electric guitar or voice? Heathen symposium with your fans/victims, or intimate romantic dinner with partner? (Flemish/Walloon) Beer, absynth or whisky? Dreamy classical music, depressive darkwave or loud, crushing, but strangely satisfying black metal? "The poem for the poems sake", or "How to make a Dadaist Poem?" by Tristan Tzara? -Maxime Nys

MW: Oh dear Maxime, you appear really fond of multiple choice questions. Maybe you should ask yourself (in a calm & friendly tone of voice) just why that is? Yet for your amusement: Mozart, Poe, electric guitar, heathen symposium, absynth, classical, "How To Make A Dadaist Poem".

4. Is it easier to conjugate with the Universe by using pranayama or LSD? Has Aarni practiced conjugation with the Universe? Why are we not satisfied with manual, vaginal or anal conjugation? Who or what is behind the Universe? Am I trying to prove something by disguising bullshit as being pseudointellectual? -Jussi Myyryläinen

MW: Esteemed Jussi: 1) It probably is easier to use LSD, but pranayama should be ultimately more rewarding, possibly. It can depend on what the Universe is using. 2) Naturally. 3) Speak for yourself...but those practices are usually just the beginning. Once you have sexually started to raise your kundalini, you should try "feeding" it with further techniques until five becomes as one with six. 4) Behind the Universe lies the qliphotic Nilversum or so I am told. 5) Likely you are merely proving the fact that nothing is set in stone, not even the stone itself.

5. Is there going to be Aarni shirts or other rags? Is there any instrument that you'd like to be able to play and possibly use in Aarni's music? -August Nordenskiöld

MW: Well Mr. Swedenborgian, I don't know much details about the future but none of us in Aarni currently consider ourselves to be tailors. Clothing isn't something we concern ourselves much with. But if you really want to, feel free to make yourself some sort of Aarni rag and impress the fuck out of your imaginary friends. You have our blessing.
As for the second question, I would like to be able to play the guitar, drums, bass, flute, kantele, sing etc. just to assert myself socially. But basically this point seems meaningless as we anyway only use those instruments which we can play to some extent.

6. I was listening to your music and fell into a trance, where an unseen entity constantly repeated the following phrase to me: "Mother Very Easily Made a Jam Sandwich Using No Peanuts, Mayonnaise or Glue". Please clarify this to me? I am perplexed. -Aleister Crowley, UK

MW: Dear Master Therion, apparently you have been contacted by one of our underground agents, or at least some astral entity who has read "Schrödinger's Cat Trilogy" by Robert Anton Wilson. The phrase is simply a mnemonic device for the planets in this solar system. The "a" stands for the asteroid belt, while "m" is for Mickey and "g" for Goofy. I hope this information provides the key for your ascension to Ipsissimus.